begin at the roots
begin at the roots
a voice whispers
begin
at the roots
…
I am climbing the tree of my life
beginning at the latticed web of its sap-rich roots
reaching for the tubular rivulets that soundlessly gargle their way
down
down
down
to that blessed unknown river
with bare hands and feet I pull myself up
testing adjusting my weight from limb to limb
my winged heart takes flight
catches in my throat
as gravity winks from down below
pausing in mid-ascension I gasp for air
but only find uncertainty there
crude anxieties roil and churn igniting and burning arteries
lava-blood fires deafening rounds of scalding fear
a voice whispers
breathe…
I listen
inhale…
exhale…
I start again
climbing the root-face
aware of a still gaze silently watching me
tentacle-fingers search and fumble
then find and grab a gnarled and twisted root
tentative toes slide into the foothold of a crack
and grip like a rock-sucking-lichen
is this where the light shines in
eyes swim into the swallowing darkness
uneasy in the absence of light
there is nothing else to do but pause
wait
give in to the flow
of the eye’s magic streaming of dark-adaptation
I let go
as the body’s secret knowing of how to calibrate
how to heal kicks in
with pupils open wide night vision reveals her secrets
I breathe again
grateful for the temporary respite
buoyant I float in this weight-bearing sea of darkness
a smile plays on my lips with the question
is this how we find our way
© Bettina Schouw ,Cape Town SA, 15 January 2016.